9 Oct 2016

The Tale of the Troublesome Toothache

Aargh! My tooth hurts! The dratted thing has been poked and prodded many times over the years. I even managed to see some humour in my agonising gnashers and penned a few verses as an ode to my crumbling teeth. (Read it here if funny poems are your thing or you just fancy a chuckle).

                   The Tale of the Troublesome Toothache

Just as I was being lulled into a sense of complacency about its existence, the pain has once again reared its ugly head. I can’t bite, I can’t chew, I can’t even gargle as anything cold jangles my already jarred dental nerves into a defensive frenzy.
Anyone who has suffered the torment of a toothache will know what I am talking about. For those of you blessed with that flawless set of pearly whites, stop being so smug, you b*******! There. I’ve gone all sweary on my blog now. 

That’s what a toothache does to you. It brings out your inner beast. It makes you sensitive (Yikes! That pun was so not intended) to the smallest provocation, as you whine in agony and try your darndest to soothe that excruciating inflammation throbbing away in your jaw.

If you think these harrowing details are cringe-worthy, spare a thought for all the horrifying misconceptions that exist in the world of teeth. Like how you lose a tooth for every pregnancy you have. I sort of wish that one was true, for it would mean I would only ever have lost the one tooth instead of an entire mouthful. Err, just to clarify, I have 32 very rotten teeth but I haven't actually lost any. Small mercies, and all that.

Or how brushing with lemon juice can make your teeth sparkly white. Non! Not now, not ever. For someone who has long suffered the misery of acid erosion on their teeth, I should know. Think, people. Think.

Lemon juice = sour, tangy = citric acid = eroded tooth enamel = tooth misery.

I say this to my son, twice a day, every day, as we battle the 2-minute toothbrush timer. Be sensible around your teeth (and other things too). You don’t want your teeth to go all achy like mine have. So let us brush twice every day and let's eat those sweet treats only at mealtimes. We will go and see the dentist when we are pencilled in to, so we keep them gnashers in top shape and shining pearly white. 

P.S: I have managed to secure that all-elusive appointment to see the dentist in the next couple of weeks. Here's looking forward to freedom from my troublesome toothache. Yay!

 Disclosure: Written in collaboration with Simply Health

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