24 Feb 2016

Broken Dreams

In my four decades on earth, I have never really given much thought to trees. Until the other day.

I was walking along a frozen canal. As I tried to keep warm under the icy cool gaze of the winter sun, I happened to look and notice. The trees with their bare branches. Every bough, every limb, every offshoot stark naked under the clouds in the  blue sky. Every blemish, every scar there for the world to see. There was no cover-up, no pretence. It was the bare truth. There, if you cared to look.

            

That brazen nakedness of those sinewy boughs is the inspiration behind these lines. There has been no attempt at rhyming; I do not think it would have done justice to the emotion I am trying to express. Or it could just be because I was not inclined to make the effort. Whatever the reason, here is 'Broken Dreams'. Do let me know what you think. I really appreciate constructive criticism.


The trees in winter
Unburdened 
Reveal their secrets,
Opening their hearts 
Baring their souls, as
Autumn sheds her cloak
Of withering leaves.

Secrets kept hidden
Under a cloth of green
As spring gives way
To unrelenting summers.

Naked, in winter's cold
Nothing to hide
Nowhere to hide
Every branch
Every twist, 
Every broken dream
All there for the world to see.


I am linking up with my favourite blog linky, Prose For Thought, hosted by the lovely Victoria. 

4 comments:

  1. This is gorgeous! I love the non-rhyming style and agree that sometimes rhymes distracts from a poem's meaning (not that I don't love rhymes, because I do!). I think your instinct was spot on here. Oh, and I LOVE trees! I'm forever photographing them - my instagram feed has far too many! #prose4t

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  2. Thanks, Maddy. I too like rhyming poems, but I also quite enjoy reading the non-rhyming ones.

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  3. I love the reflection about trees being so naked in winter and baring all their secrets and scars for all the world to see and the final verse especially sums it up beautifully. I think you're right not to use a rhyming style too - emotions can often be expressed more powerfully without it as you're using the exact words you want to express that thought and emotion rather than those that can rhyme together. I love the repetition of "nothing to hide / nowhere to hide" and the last four lines that are so brief and yet so powerful. #ThePrompt

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  4. This is so perfectly written and it certainly makes you examine the progress of trees through the seasons more carefully - and line them up with your own experiences. Thank you for linking to Prose for Thought xx

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